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Instead I worked hard for years to earn their love.
Only after years and years of pleasing them did I finally reach a point with them where the levee broke and I had to get mad.
He once even said to me “I’m not going to get hurt.” At the time, I didn’t understand this as a counterdependent telling me he was going to leave me to protect himself.
What is even more depressing about this story is that codependents and counterdependents are attracted to each other and enter into relationships with one another every day.
However, while growing up I rarely got mad at my parents or best friend.
Here was a man, I thought, who knows who he is and is stable.
I still believe those things are true, but I think his core problem is that he is a counterdependent and as a result, pushed me away before I could leave him.
A codependent, above all, wants to be accepted and loved.
Their sense of self is dependent on what others think of them.